vol. 16 no. 3 - May 2000
The U.S.S. Alaric is a North Carolina chapter of STARFLEET, the International Star Trek Fan Association. Starfleet and the Alaric recognize Paramount’s sole ownership of all Star Trek copyrights. Annual individual member dues to the international club are $15.00 per year.
U.S.S. Alaric
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Carolina Communicator
Carolina Communicator (c) 2000 by USS Alaric. Promotional materials copyrighted by Paramount Pictures, Universal Studios, and other companies, and selected submissions copyrighted by individual contributors. INTERIM EDITOR: Fleet Captain Richard Heim
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The views expressed in the Carolina Communicator do not necessarily reflect those of the staff, or all of the members of the Alaric.
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Alaric
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ELECTED OFFICERS:
President (Captain) - Richard Heim
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FCapt. Richard Heim |
It's time, once again, to welcome you to another on-line issue of the Carolina Communicator! We have a special surprise this issue, but first I want to get down to business.
0003.11 Regular Monthly Meeting: Shirley and I were out of town on a work-related trip (see my Chief Science Officer report for trip details), so XO Ian "Krell" Johnsson took the reins for the month. See his First Officer's Log for the meeting report.
0004.15 Regular Monthly Meeting: We met on the third Saturday this month, instead of our regular second Saturday meeting date, because the Library had a special event scheduled for the 8th and needed the meeting room. We had our regular officer and department chief reports and doorprize drawings, and I gave the treasury report. We also decided which autographed photo of Chase Masterson that we'll be auctioning locally and which one we'll be auctioning through eBay. David Moxley volunteered his home as the aluminum can drop off place for our recycling project. We welcomed Sheila Thomas Hand, a returning member, back into the fold. I awarded Alaric Commendations to the following crew for charitable service to a former member (again, see Ian's report): Janice Self, Susan Vaughn, Susan Bolick, Sarah Bolick, Ian Johnsson, and Joe McCollum. We rounded out the meeting by discussing plot ideas and writing assignments for the special CC storyline (see below).
Dragoncon 2000 will be held June 29-July 2 in Atlanta, GA. Check out their web page: http://www.dragoncon.org
Charlotte, NC is putting in a bid for the 2004 Worldcon for August 25-29, 2004. Lend them your support by registering. Web page: http://scenic-city.com/charlotte2004
There actually was a real-life GalaxyQuest convention (if the flyer is believable). GalaxyQuest Con I was held March 31-April 2 at the Yocona River Inn in Oxford, MS. Web page: http://www.watervalley.net/users/galaxyquestcon
This year's Starfleet Region One Summit was held April 28-30 at the River Terrace Resort in Gatlinburg, Tennessee. The Bennu crew and support staff from other ships have continued the fine tradition of putting on fantastic Summits for the region with this year's Summit. I'd like to specifically thank Captain Linda Oakley, R/1 Summit Coordinator and 2nd Officer SS Bennu, and Fleet Captain Ben Redding, CO Bennu Station, for their hard work.
I proudly counted seven Alaric crew members in attendance at the Summit. Several regional awards were handed out on Saturday, with the Alaric receiving a Gold Medal for turning in all of the 1999 MSR reports on time. During the Summit awards ceremony on Sunday, the Alaric garnered First Place during the Lasertag tournament, with Alaric crewman Mark Bolick nabbing the award for highest individual score (2700 points).
R/1 Regional Coordinator, RAdm. Carolyn Donner, reported that Region One now has 52 starships and shuttles. Of the department meetings, I attended the Communications, Shuttle Operations, and Treasury meetings, and ran the Sciences meeting. My favorite part of the Summit (well, one of my favorite parts, besides the sciences sections) was when the CO of the USS Charleston (Debbie Martin), Shirley, and I shared our love of pets Saturday evening after the banquet. Another favorite part was earlier that afternoon. I had had the River Terrace outdoor swimming pool all to myself. Nobody else wanted to sit in a warm pool with light cold rain falling on their face. Another favorite part was afterwards, in the elevator, when I was returning to our room on my way back from the pool.
And now for that special surprise I mentioned at the beginning of this report. The latest James Bond movie, last year, was "The World Is Not Enough". Have you noticed the issue numbers (year-month) of the CC's this year? They start with "000". The year 2000 issues of the Carolina Communicator all have a license to entertain. So we have created a fictional storyline for the USS Alaric incorporating James Bond themes and have given it the name, "The Universe Is Not Enough". We hope you enjoy it!
Click Here to Return to Table of Contents or Continue Reading to Begin "The Universe Is Not Enough"!
Captain’s Log, Stardate 200005.04, Fleet Captain Richard Heim reporting. We have rendezvoused with a tactical fleet of four starships and numerous support ships at the edge of the Tri-Kappa Delta sector. Admiral Thunderbarre is convening a mission briefing for command and support staff at 0900 today. Perhaps now we’ll get to the bottom of this mystery and get some explanation of the malfunctions in my ship’s systems.
All eyes were riveted upon Admiral E.S.B. Thunderbarre, who was standing at the front of the room, a huge, imposing man of Cherokee descent. “I know this secrecy has been a pain in the butt for you,” he began, singling out the ship captains in the group. When our eyes met, his stare went right through me. “But it was necessary. The mission we are about to embark upon will result in the most important battle since Wolf 359. No, it’ll be even more important, for not just the future of Starfleet is at stake, but the future of the entire universe.”
That news would hush just about any crowd. After the appropriate pause, Admiral Thunderbarre continued.
“During the last couple weeks, we’ve been upgrading many of your ships’ systems in preparation for the upcoming battle. You’ll need the advantage, for you’ll be on a mission in Starfleet’s secret service.” He emphasized the word secret. “Our foe cannot be underestimated. We’re sure he has spies everywhere.”
“Just who are we gonna fight, Admiral sir?” That was from a young lieutenant commander on one of the other ships. None of my crew would be so brash!
Thunderbarre tossed a nod toward an aging Vulcan standing near him. “Ambassador Spock will explain.”
Spock! I should have recognized him! The greatest science officer who ever served in Starfleet, the man on whom I’ve patterned my other persona as the Alaric’s Chief Science Officer. It was an honor to be in the same room as him!
“Our enemy,” Spock said, “is a Ferengi called Latinumfinger. Intelligence reports indicate that Latinumfinger is rapidly taking over the commerce in the Alpha and Gamma quadrants, and making inroads into the Beta quadrant. Naturally, the other Ferengi and the Dominion aren’t happy with him --“
“I should say they aren’t!”, my XO, Commander Krell, who was standing next to me, grumbled just loud enough for me to hear.
“-- but they can’t seem to touch him. He is a Ferengi who was partially assimilated by the Borg, but something went wrong during the assimilation process and he escaped somehow. We know this much. This experience affected him in some way, enhanced him. Our Ferengi contacts believe he's not satisfied with taking over commerce in just this universe. He wants to expand beyond, perhaps into the mirror universe. And he has a powerful weapon to do it with.”
Spock gestured toward the wallscreen, and it lit up to display a star chart. “Deep space sensors have detected a high level of M radiation originating from the Tri-Kappa Delta sector. Starfleet science and HQ analysts believe the M radiation is an effect of the test bursts from his new weapon, and they indicate that at full power a burst from this weapon will irreparably tear the fabric of space-time.”
I looked at Joe, my chief mathematician, who was standing beside me. “Sounds like it would be a tear so bad,” I said in a low voice, “that not even Shirley could sew it back together.” Joe nodded somberly in agreement.
Admiral Thunderbarre took over. “We know Latinumfinger’s base is somewhere in this sector, but we don’t know exactly where. We have a few leads, but we’ll need to send new spies, people Latinumfinger doesn’t know. These secret agents will send us back intel on our enemy’s location, strengths, weaknesses... anything we can use to defeat him. Our strategy is to hit him and hit him hard. Your ships will be part of the task force. I’ll be leading the assault aboard the U.S.S. Disco Volante.” He grunted. “More detailed briefings, by department, will begin in 30 minutes. Dismissed.”
Click Here to Continue with The Universe Is Not Enough!
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Cmdr. Ian "Krell" Johnsson |
I would like to take a few minutes to update everybody on the status of past crew member Mark Gassman. I think just about everybody in the crew right now remembers Mark but for those who don't...
Before allowing his Fleet membership to expire Mark, was the Alaric's chief engineer. He's also diabetic, and therein lies the root of his current problems. Mark was admitted to the hospital a little over two months ago with a massive infection in his left foot. Since then he has been bounced back and forth between St. Joseph's Hospital and Thom's Rehab Facility numerous times. On several occasions we thought he was going to finally be discharged only to have his doctors decide to do another exploratory or keep him under observation a little while longer.
In March I organized a group of Alaric members to go over to Mark's apartment and get it cleaned up in preparation for his expected return from the hospital. He had been admitted rather suddenly and unexpectedly so he hadn't had time to clean up before leaving. I would like to thank crew members Janice Self, Susan and Sarah Bolick, Susan Vaughn and Joe McCollum for doing a fantastic job on March 11 and helping me get Mark's place into presentable shape.
But then we had a new wrinkle develop. While he was bouncing back and forth between rehab and the hospital Mark was able to get a new place at Arrowhead Apartments. If you ever saw his old apartment you'll know that Arrowhead can't help but be a big improvement, so while all our hard work on his old place certainly didn't go to waste we were faced with the problem of getting Mark moved from one apartment to the other while he's still laid up at Thom's. I managed to get everything packed up and ready to go, and then on April 30 I met with Captain Susan Vaughn and her cadet-in-training Andie, along with Mark's friends Cherry and Wilma, and I'm proud to say that in just short of three hours the five of us managed to get everything moved over. Fortunately the weather was on our side and everything went very smoothly.
So currently Mark is still at Thom's Rehab, in room #123 (828/274-6123 if you'd like to give him a call, or email him at EngineMG@aol.com). No word yet as to when he will be getting out for good, but whenever it is he'll have a nice new apartment to return to, thanks in no small part to the crew of the Alaric. I'd like to once more thank everybody who has helped out in this rather long and involved process...it's exactly this spirit of friendship and willingness to lend a hand that makes me proud to be a member of both Starfleet as well as the USS Alaric, in my opinion the best darn ship in the entire fleet.
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Alaric Department Reports |
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DEPARTMENT HEADS:
Chief Science Officer - Richard Heim
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| Chief Science Officer | FCapt. Richard Heim |
The Alaric sent an away team to the Fantasm convention in Atlanta, GA on March 17-19. This convention was not related to the movies by the similar name. It was, instead, a really great fantasy/erotic convention. My favorite parts were the Miss Fantasm Contest, Costume Contest, and the Cam Girl Show. Oh yes, and the parties! On Friday night a "Fuzzy Dice" event was held where you rolled large soft fuzzy dice and could win a free membership to next year's Fantasm or free t-shirts or free buttons. But if you rolled double sixes, you had to choose between cleaning up after the party wars or being in the slave auction. I chose the slave auction (but that's another story!).
In addition to being the fictional Science Officer aboard the Alaric, I'm a scientist (meteorologist/ climatologist) in "real life". During the first half of March I attended an Automated Weather Station Workshop and presented an oral paper on the development of the U.S. Climate Reference Network. The workshop was held in Lincoln, Nebraska. Shirley and I drove and stayed with relatives.
http://alaricrh.home.sprynet.com/science/AlaricSci.htm
As always, if you're interested in running an Alaric department, we have plenty of positions open to you. The following departments need chiefs: Communications, Flight Operations, Recreation/Entertainment, Recreation/Gaming, Recreation/Sports, Science/Fortean Research Dept., Planetary Sciences, Security, Starfleet Marines, and Weapons. Let me (since I'm CO as well as CSO) know which one(s) you want: by email, AlaricRH@sprynet.com, or regular mail, P.O. Box 2072, Asheville, NC 28802. Check the Alaric Handbook for requirements. Two important requirements are: you must be OTS-qualified, and you need to make regular reports.
FCapt. Richard Heim
Chief Science Officer
USS Alaric
RDC REGION ONE SCIENCES NEWS
The 0003 Region One Sciences newsletter has been published. This issue marks its premiere as an on-line publication. It's url is: http://alaricrh.home.sprynet.com/science/nl/r1sci0003.htm. If you would like a paper copy, send me a large (legal-size) SASE (to: Richard Heim, P.O. Box 2072, Asheville, NC 28802 USA).
My Assistant RDC Sciences, Captain David Klingman, and I announced the winners of the 1999 Region One Sciences division awards at the Region One Summit on Saturday, April 29. Before I get to that, I'd like to thank those who were nominated (as candidates for the awards) for your hard work and enthusiasm for science... being nominated is something to be proud of. I'd also like to thank the CSO's and others of Region One, and those outside Region One, who participate in the sciences listserver... we're at about 90 listserver subscribers strong, with an average of about ten posts a day! And in my opinion every post has been a great post for science information and education!
Now, on to the R/1 Sciences division awards. There were three categories of awards.
- The Albert Einstein Award for Regular Article Submission is
presented annually to the regional Chief Science Officers who
make the most regular submissions to the monthly reports to the
RDC and the quarterly reports in the Region One Sciences
newsletter. I based the selection of the winners on having a
report in each of the quarterly issues of the newsletter. The
five winners who had a perfect publication reporting record are:
- RAdm. Willy Smith, USS Heimdal
- FCapt. David Rose, USS Tycho
- Lt-jg. Joe Lamantia, USS Jurassic
- Capt. David Klingman, USS Hawkeye
- FCapt. Richard Heim, USS Alaric
Three of these CSO's had a perfect monthly reporting record.
For the Hawking and Galileo awards, the candidates were nominated from among the participants. Each candidate was nominated by somebody else (i.e., nobody nominated themselves). I sent (via email or snail mail) ballots to all R/1 CSO's that I knew about, roughly 40 of you, and received nine ballots back. Following are the candidates and the voting results:
- The Steven R. Hawking Award for Original Article is presented
annually to the Starfleet member who makes the most original
submission to the Region One Sciences newsletter or to the
sciences listserver. Nominees may be any Starfleet member, and
the award recipient is chosen from among the applicants by a
general vote of participating CSO's from Region One. There were
three candidates:
- Julie Cook - received 3 votes
- Steve Gibson - received 2 votes
- David Klingman - received 4 votes --- winner!
- The Galileo Award for Chief Science Officer of the Year:
candidates are nominated by R/1 ship CSO's, and the winner is
chosen by a vote of the CSO's of Region One. There were two
candidates:
- Richard Heim - received 7 votes --- winner!
- David Rose - received 2 votes
Congratulations to the winners, one and all!
This is the first year that Region One Sciences has conducted these sciences awards. Overall, it went very well. One thing that we will change is this: both the RDC (me) and ARDC (David Klingman) will not be considered as candidates for the Hawking and Galileo awards next year.
We'd like to see more participation next year, more people nominated to these awards, and more CSO's voting. So, please keep your eyes open for participants to the science listserver, reports and articles in the newsletter, and activities of the CSO's that aren't reported on the listserver or in the newsletter. If you are a crewman aboard your ship and you are proud of the science activities of your CSO, send me a note describing such and ask me to either post it to the listserver or put it in the newsletter or both, so the region can see his/her accomplishments, and then nominate him/her as a candidate for an award!
In addition to the divisional science awards we handed out at the Summit, RC VAdm. Carolyn Donner took FCapt. Victor Swindell's place in announcing the Regional Awards for 1999. Region One Sciences is proud to report that we received the Non-Chapter Newsletter of the Year award and the Regional Department Chief of the Year award! Thank you for the interest and enthusiasm of the R/1 CSO's, general science enthusiasts, and especially my ARDC, Capt. David Klingman, for making this possible!
Here’s your chance to join Region One Sciences in a position of authority and awesome responsibility! The Region One Science Newsletter Editor will be responsible for the department’s quarterly newsletter.
Duties:
- Edit and prepare the quarterly Region One Sciences online newsletter
- Summarize the monthly CSO reports and extract publishable info
- Collate and edit other submissions and convert to html document
- Email said html document and associated files to RDC, who will upload the newsletter documents to the web site.
Qualifications:
- Experience editing newsletters
- Experience writing html documents
- Must have email and web access
- Starfleet member in good standing
- R/1 member preferred, but not required
- CSO preferred, but not required, however should have at least an interest in science
Procedure:
- Send resume of relevant Starfleet background/experience
- Send resume of relevant real-life background/experience/education
- Applications due July 31, 2000
- Mail or email applications to:
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Richard Heim
P.O. Box 2072
Asheville, NC 28802
AlaricRH@sprynet.com - Expect to begin with the September 2000 issue.
FCapt. Richard Heim
Regional Division Chief, Sciences
Starfleet Region One
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Chief Science Officer’s Log, Stardate 200005.04, Fleet Captain Richard Heim reporting. After Admiral Thunderbarre completed his general briefing, the detailed briefings began right on schedule. A science expert named Commander Data briefed the task force’s science officers. I hadn’t met the man before. I almost suggested he check with Sick Bay as he looked quite pale, before I realized the man was an android.
“We have upgraded your long-range scanners,” he began, “and enhanced your short-range sensors by a factor of 235.87 percent. This should enable you to detect the approach of hostile ships well before they come within firing range.”
“Based on the sensor readings I’ve seen,” I said, “the M radiation in the Tri-Kappa Delta sector is locally at extremely dangerous levels. If we need to venture close to those areas, how will we be protected against the deadly effects of the radiation?”
“We have enhanced your shields,” Data replied. “Your engineering staff is being briefed on the details.”
He gave us additional information on the science upgrades to the ship, and on the cosmic dangers we were likely to face in the Tri-Kappa Delta sector. This would be more of a military mission than a science mission, so I didn’t see the significance of the science upgrades, but I was happy to have them. It’s a time to celebrate when Starfleet HQ actually provides starship science officers with good data.
Click Here to Continue with The Universe Is Not Enough!
| Social Sciences Dept. | LT.jg. Dale Anderson |
Remote sensing, in elementary terms, is a simple technique used to gather information about an object without actually touching it. In the most basic sense, humans practice remote sensing with our eyes, ears, and even our skin. These sensors obtain information about the size, color, location, and temperature of objects.
Television is a kind of remote sensing. A TV camera acts as a sensor when it picks up an image and transmits it to a studio. The image is then relayed by cable, broadcasting station, or satellite into viewers' homes. Sensors similar to TV cameras are flown in aircraft and satellites. They relay images of the earth to stations on the ground. Cloud maps used on TV weather forecasts are created from images relayed by satellites about 22,300 miles above the earth.
Some types of sensors can detect invisible forms of energy, like infrared rays (heat rays) that the earth sends out. A computer can convert the data into images for study in photographs or on TV screens. The colors created by computer are called false colors because they do not correspond to the colors we normally see. Radar is a sensor that uses radio waves to make images of the planets. Sonar uses sound waves to map the ocean floor and search for sunken ships.
Remote sensing has become increasingly popular in using information about the earth using images from satellites. Of course, there is the popular use of weather/climate monitoring and forecasting. It is also used for estimating crop yields and searching for mineral and petroleum deposits. It helps scientists understand how human activity affects the environment. It can monitor the health of forests threatened by pollution, map the destruction of tropical rain forests, and measure the warming of the earth's atmosphere known as the greenhouse effect. Personally, what interests me most personally, is that we can even learn about past environments. In a recent example, imaging radar has mapped stream channels under the Sahara in southern Egypt, showing that this desert once had a wetter climate.
Within the last fifteen years, this once cutting edge technology has revolutionized archaeology and has now become a highly sought out methodology by many of the latest, more prestigious and/or better funded archeological studies and expeditions.
I’d like to summarize some of the more widely used remote sensing technologies being used, converted to be used, or leased by today's international archaeological community.
Landsat. The big daddy of earth observing satellites. The first Landsat was launched by NASA in 1972 to systematically, on an on going basis, examine the earth. Landsat 7 was launched on April 15, 1999, into a 438 mile orbit. The system is now operated by the US National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration. Since 1982, Landsats have used a ‘thermatic mapper,’ which simultaneously scans the earth in seven spectral channels -- wavelengths ranging from visible and shortwave to thermal infrared. Resolution is generally 30 meters.
SPOT 2 & 3. These satellites were launched by the Centre National d’Etudes Spatiales of France in 1991 and 1993. SPOT 2 and 3 offer 10 meter resolution with the high resolution visibility set to panchromatic mode. They also provide multispectral images. These two satellites orbit 180 degrees apart and 517 miles high, and cover the entire globe every 26 days. Images can be taken from a vertical view or 27 degrees east or west, allowing stereo images to determine the height of ground features.
European Remote Sensing Satellites. Built by the European Space Agency, ERS-1 was launched in 1991 and ERS-2 fours years later. Both operate in orbits averaging 484 miles in altitude. They study the land and oceans with a suite of instruments, including small-aperture radar (SAR) with a resolution of 82 feet. The SAR is part of the Active Microwave Instrument that provides ‘wide-swath’ images 60 miles across, image 5 kilometers square, and Wind Scatterometer that measures wind speed and direction.
Japanese Earth Resources Satellite (JERS). There are some archaeologists that are really doing some exciting work with this particular technology. Launched in 1992, Japan's second Earth observation satellite provides global, all-weather imaging capability, primarily for agriculture, forestry, environmental protection, and disaster protection. It orbits at 352 miles above the earth. Its optics include a l-band synthetic aperture radar (a high resolution system that transmits hundreds of radar pulses and analyzes the ‘backscattered’ echoes bounced back into space). Plus, it has an optical sensor for visible to infrared wavelengths. Resolution of both is 59 feet.
KVR--1000. This Russian Camera system is carried aboard COSMOS satellites, which were originally developed for the military. Panchromatic ground resolution is 6.5 to 9.8 feet, with each image covering about 15.5 square miles. With a low orbit of 124 miles and limited film and fuel, each mission lasts about 45 days. Then, the satellite is recovered and the hardware reused.
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| Engineering Dept. | Cmdr. Sheila Hand |
Stardate: 0004.21
Hello, Folks! Some of you may not know me, and others of you once knew me as Sheila Thomas. I have been out of touch with the Alaric since late 1994, and out of STARFLEET since 1998. But I have now returned. Richard has reinstated me as Commander, and has asked me to take over the Engineering Department. I agreed to do so at least until Mark Gassman can return.
For those of you who do not know me, here is a brief history of how I earned my rank, and current position. I joined STARFLEET in 1991 as Sheila Thomas. As mentioned above, I was very active on the Alaric until 1994. During my active days, I earned rank mainly through attending STARFLEET Academy. I graduated from OTS, and OCC. Then I attended the STARFLEET Academy School of Engineering, where I earned a Bachelors degree in Engineering. A ““Burgundy Beast”” uniform was made and decorated for me. Since 1994, I have married Hollis Hand. I have also completed a real life degree in Engineering. In 1998, I graduated with an Associate degree in Applied Science for my studies in Mechanical Engineering.
We are also looking toward the future, and preparing for an away mission to DragonCon on Stardates 0006.29-0007.02.
I found the following on the web page, http://winn.com/bs/engineers.html. I thought it was quite funny and true. :) Enjoy! It may even help you to understand engineers a little better :)
What the Engineer says --- What it really means:
A number of different approaches are being tried --- We are still grasping at straws.
We're working on a fresh approach to the problem --- We just hired three kids fresh out of college.
Close project coordination --- We know who to blame.
Major technological breakthrough --- It works OK, but looks very hi-tech.
Customer satisfaction upon delivery is assured --- We are so far behind schedule the customer is happy to get it delivered.
Preliminary operational tests were inconclusive --- The darn thing blew up when we threw the switch.
Test results were extremely gratifying --- We are so surprised that the stupid thing works.
The entire concept will have to be abandoned --- The only person who understood the thing quit.
It is in process --- It is so wrapped up in red tape that the situation is about hopeless.
We'll look into it --- Forget it! We have enough problems for now.
Please read and initial --- Let's spread the responsibility for the mistake.
Give us the benefit of your thoughts --- We'll listen to what you have to say as long as it doesn't interfere with what we've already done.
Give us your interpretation --- I can't wait to hear this!
See me, or Let's Discuss --- Come into my office, I'm lonely.
All new! --- Parts not interchangeable with the previous design.
Rugged --- Too heavy to lift!
Lightweight --- Lighter than rugged.
Years of development --- One finally worked.
Energy saving --- Achieved when the power switch is off.
Low maintenance --- Impossible to fix if broken.
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Engineering Department Log, Stardate 200005.05, Commander Sheila Hand reporting. My Starfleet HQ engineering team has finished upgrading the Alaric’s systems. I’ve served under Captain Heim’s, correction, Fleet Captain Heim now, command in the past, before I transferred to HQ, and it’s good to be back aboard the Alaric. I’m sure he’s not too happy about the secrecy behind these upgrades. After all, I transfer to his ship as Chief Engineering Officer and immediately begin mucking with his ship’s systems without being able to explain why. Didn’t make me very happy, either. But orders is orders. And besides, FCapt. Heim is a loyal officer, I’m sure he understands.
I stood on the engineering deck, and surveyed the Alaric’s engineers assembled before me, the dilithium chamber purring behind me. Admiral Thunderbarre has finished his main briefing. Now it’s time for the department briefings. I began by giving an overview of the Alaric’s old systems, then got into the nifty stuff.
“The following systems have been upgraded: warp drive, shields, weapons, transporters. These changes should ensure our survival when we engage Latinumfinger’s fleet.
“The current warp drive system of our ship is listed as M/ARA. This is sufficient for most purposes, however due to the technology of Latinumfinger that we’ll be combating, it needed to be upgraded. The new warp drive system will allow a maximum warp speed of 12 without danger to us. Time travel will also be possible, though not recommended. You’ll also find the Alaric much more maneuverable in battle situations.”
“Tell us about the shielding,” FCapt. Heim said. “I just came from the science briefing and concern was raised there about the danger of high levels of M radiation in the Tri-Kappa Delta sector.”
“The new shield system involves quadruple shielding,” I answered. “Each shield level is interphasing, and will protect us better than the old system. When one level of shielding fails, the remaining levels will compensate. Not only will it provide us with adequate protection against any level of M radiation,” I smiled, “but we should be able to withstand just about any sort of pounding Latinumfinger can dish out!”
FCapt. Heim grinned. It’s always nice to make your commanding officer happy.
I continued. “HQ has developed a new offensive weapon. It combines a photon torpedo with a thermonuclear device, and is called a neutronic torpedo.”
Someone on deck mumbled, “Probably the work of Section 31.” I don’t think they expected me to hear them. Section 31 is something you don’t talk about in anything above a whisper.
“Transporter Technician David Moxley has been working on two projects,” I continued. “The first project is a personal transporter. This transporter system can instantly transport the person using it to a new location without intervention of the ship. The activation device can be worn on the uniform. However, it may only be used to transport to places the person has already visited.
“The ship cargo transporter has also been modified to transport the neutronic torpedo to the target location. This was necessary for two reasons. First, the design of the weapon prohibits it from being launched through the photon torpedo tubes. Second, the weapon has a timing system to prohibit detonation on impact.
“In addition to these modifications/upgrades, a new defensive system has been added to our ship. This system is, essentially, a holographic camouflage generator.” That prompted a lot of ooh’s and aah’s from the throng. “The Alaric can appear on an enemy system’s sensors to be another vessel, say a Romulan Warbird, or a Borg cube . . .” That got their attention! “This should cause confusion and possibly more fear in our adversary than our ship would normally warrant.”
“I’d say it should!,” shouted someone in the crowd. I really need to put names to these faces, and soon.
“Any questions?,” I asked. Of course there were. And I answered them.
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Planetary Sciences Dept. Mathematics Section |
Department Chief Position Vacant C/3 Joe McCollum reporting |
Planetary Sciences Log, Mathematics Section, Stardate 200005.05, Mathematician C/3 Joe McCollum reporting. Admiral Thunderbarre and a couple tough-looking officers surrounded me just after the general briefing. They said something about me being just the man they’re looking for. We promptly headed for a secured part of Engineering. There I found out I was going to be a spy. Well, I did sign up for fun and adventure!
“Captain Scott,” Thunderbarre ordered, “will now brief you on the latest weaponry you’ll need in the field. Latinumfinger managed to escape from the Borg, but he took some of their technology with him.”
Montgomery Scott, the miracle-working chief engineer of the old U.S.S. Enterprise! Legend has it he was pretty good with gadgets. Well, I was about to find out.
“Now pay attention,” Scotty began, motioning me to a table. “Paralysis grenades.” He held a couple blue spheres in his hands. “They’re genetically coded to your palm. Press this toggle here, toss it. Ten seconds later, blam! Make sure you’re at least 20 meters away when they go off. Over here, a pen computer.”
“‘Pen’?,” I asked.
“An ancient writing utensil. They still have pens where you’ll be going. You activate it by twisting the barrel, thus.”
A feminine voice responded. “Working, darling,” it said.
Scotty chuckled. “Thought you’d like that little touch. Responds to your voice, like all of our computers. Over here, special phaser.” He picked up what looked like eraser caps. “Slip one onto the top of the pen like this, aim, and shoot. Blue cap is stun, red cap is disintegrate.”
“Clever way to rub out your opponent,” I said.
“Right. Now these babies,” he said, picking up a couple wristbands, “will get you past Latinumfinger’s Borg-enhanced intruder-detector security system. You’ll need a disguise once you infiltrate Latinumfinger’s base. This belt–“
“–‘They still use them where I’m going’,” I interrupted.
“Right. This belt will activate a holographic disguise. You have several to choose from, among them: Orion slave trader, Cardassian, and, of course, Ferengi. Speaking of holographs,” Scotty said, picking up a couple clips, “these will project holographic images to get you out of any tight spots.”
“A regular walking holodeck,” I quipped. Looks like Section 31 has been really busy.
“Enough of your juvenile quips,” Scotty said, picking up what looked like a plastic rodent. “Here, a windows escape route generator mouse. If you find yourself trapped in a room with no escape, toss it at a wall. The mouse will generate an instant window. Just open it and climb out.”
"My gates to freedom?"
He frowned. “In a while, I’ll take you to the Shuttle Bay and show you Little Nellie.”
“‘Little Nellie’?,” I asked.
“A specially-equipped air shuttle, to get you around in planetary atmospheres. She can outrun and outgun any helicopter Latinumfinger may throw at you! Right. Once you find out where Latinumfinger’s base is, you need a way to communicate that intel to us. This,” Scotty said, holding up a pea-sized circuit chip, “is a special subspace/superspace transmitter which employs a special Lektor scrambler/encoding routine. It’ll be placed inside your antennae.”
“My antennae?”
“Oh, right,” Scotty mumbled. “Come with me, laddie.”
We ended up in Sick Bay. Our Chief Medical Officer, Rear Admiral Susan Bolick, was there, along with an ancient-looking white-haired man who I immediately recognized as the famous Doctor Leonard McCoy, now an admiral himself. I didn’t know the others in the room.
“Doctor,” I began, “Captain Scott said something about antennae?”
“You’ll need a special advantage against Latinumfinger’s Borg-enhanced henchmen,” Doctor McCoy said. “You’ll be getting bionic implants to increase your strength. You’ll also be getting a special Andorian disguise, a place to hide your transmitter.”
“I’m to become an Andorian?”
“Just for the mission, you understand,” McCoy said. “Andorians are stronger than humans, so it’s necessary. Doctor Yesch here will perform the surgery.” He turned to a blue-skinned doctor.
I said, “You have operated on humans before, haven’t you, Doctor?”
“No, actually,” Yesch replied. “But I’ve studied all of the anatomical types. It’ll be a piece of cake! Do you want your antennae ends pointing up or down?"
"Up, down,” I sighed, “points of a sextant. Each is as stupid-looking as the other." Can it get any worse?
“By the way,” Admiral McCoy said. “You’ll need a cover name.”
“A cover name?,” I said.
“Yes. Your name is Bond. James T. Bond.”
Doctor Yesch grinned. “It almost worked in Casino Royale,” he joked.
Right. A regular Man from S.T.A.R.F.L.E.E.T. Security was guarding the door, so I couldn’t escape. Where’s that mouse when you need it?
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| Medical Sciences Dept. | RAdm. Susan Bolick |
I hope everyone had a happy Easter and spent some time with family. Now that we've all had lots of good food and Easter candy, I thought for this month's report that I'd talk about...
The gall bladder is located just below the liver in the upper right side of
the abdomen. It stores about a quarter cup of bile, a bitter fluid made by
the liver which digests fats in the intestine. Normally the bile flows
freely like a stream, but when the gallbladder becomes diseased, the flow
turns stagnant, like a swamp. The bile then begins to crystallize, then
the crystals clump together, forming stones.
The stones may not bother the person at all, especially if they stay in the gallbladder. But sometimes they are small enough to get out, only to become lodged in the bile ducts connecting the liver, gallbladder, pancreas, and intestines.
Symptoms of gallstones include sharp upper right abdominal pain, often after a meal. This pain can also occur in the shoulders or chest. Pain can be brief but severe, or can last for several hours. Attacks can recur over a period of days, or be absent for years.
If there are no symptoms, the condition requires no treatment. Sometimes the stones are discovered on routine tests. Mild symptoms are best managed by watching and waiting. Severe or recurrent symptoms need treatment before the stones cause pancreas or liver damage, or obstructive jaundice.
Obesity, crash diets, and high fat diets can contribute to gallbladder disease, as well as pregnancy and birth control pills. About 75% of all people with gallstones are female. Some populations have unusually high incidence, too...only 10% of Americans but 44% of the Swedish population is affected! In the US, Native Americans are the highest-affected group, with 80% of the Pima Indians getting gallstones by age 35.
There have been attempts with medication or lithotripsy (stone-busting with sound waves) to treat gallstones, but neither has been very successful.
Surgery for gallstones today is relatively uncomplicated. Cholecystectomy (gallbladder removal) used to require a large incision and a long painful recovery until the 1990s. Now, though, thanks to fiberoptics, several small incisions each up to 1/2" allow easy removal of the gallbladder using a laparoscope. This is often called "bandaid surgery". The person usually goes home the same day and resumes normal activity within a week.
A person can do quite well without their gallbladder - it wasn't working anyway. The gallbladder as a whole is removed, and not just the stones, to prevent recurrence. Complications postoperatively are infrequent, but can include diarrhea or, rarely, infection, accidental injuries to adjacent structures, and anesthesia reactions.
People with symptoms of gallbladder disease should check with their physician. Diagnosis usually involves taking a history and doing an ultrasound and sometimes blood tests for liver and pancreas enzymes to check for damage.
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| Quartermaster Dept. | Capt. Janice Self |
Quartermaster Department Log, Stardate 200005.05, Captain Janice Self reporting. Admiral Thunderbarre’s briefing was very informative. Finally I have an explanation for those malfunctions with the replicator the other day .... I’ve learned I’ll be assisting HQ staff as they work up special refueling and resupply strategies, both for the spies and for the task force assault on Latinumfinger’s base. This mission might also explain a mysterious message – “From Vulcan With Love” – on the ship’s manifest. Must be code. I’ll get it to Admiral Thunderbarre asap.
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| Chaplain/Counselor | LT.jg. Shirley Heim |
I received this list from a friend who got it via email from a relative. I think it is very good and so I pass it on to you.
- Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
- When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
- Follow the three R's:
- Respect for self
- Respect for others
- Responsibility for (all of) your actions
- Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
- Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
- Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
- When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
- Spend some time alone every day.
- Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.
- Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
- Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.
- A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
- In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past.
- Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.
- Be gentle with the earth.
- Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.
- Remember that the best relatinship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
- Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
- Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.
Remember: I'm here for you if you need a sympathetic or confidential ear for your persona or real-life situations.
LT.jg. Shirley Heim
Chaplain/Counselor
USS Alaric
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| Personal Log | James T. Bond |
Personal Log, Stardate 200005.09, James Bond reporting. Thanks to a coded message from a Vulcan spy who infiltrated Latinumfinger’s organization, we have the break we’ve been waiting for. I’ll be making contact on a small dusty world at the edge of the Tri-Kappa Delta sector called Tatooine.
The building was a small dusty cantina on the outside, but the inside took your breath away! Holo-poker machines, the biggest dabo wheel I’d ever seen, and fancy blackjack, bluejack, and redjack tables! Ferengi dealers, Ferengi bartenders. Yep, this was the place. The owner was an especially fierce-looking Ferengi called Goldenear. One of Latinumfinger’s lieutenants, I’d find out later. He was at the front of the huge room, standing near the stage admiring the clothesless chorus girls gyrating through their routine.
When I got closer, I saw it wasn’t the dancing girls he was panting over, it was one woman in particular. A Vulcan. Our Vulcan. She was laughing, and singing. Clearly it wasn’t something she was doing voluntarily.
I stopped at the bar. The Ferengi bartender stepped up, asked, “What can I get you, Mister . . . ?”
|
"Bond," I said, "James T. Bond. Romulan ale, shaken, not stirred."
He served me the drink. "That's my favorite song," he said, nodding toward the Vulcan. "Yeah?" "'For Your Ears Only.' It makes me tingle all over!" It made me sick, thinking how they could smash down such intense Vulcan mind control like they did, in order to get her to do that. "So, Mister Bond, what is the lifeblood of the universe?" He was either trying to strike up a conversation, or that was a coded greeting. "Hmm," I replied, "maybe gold, but it could be diamonds or even silicon chips." "No!" |
for James T. Bond. Photo (c) Warner Bros. |
"How about solar energy, or oil?"
"Get real."
"How about news -- or the right to go somewhere without having your space capsule or submarine swallowed up?"
"Those are so passe."
"Well, then, it's got to be drugs."
"Actually, it's another opiate of the mind -- gambling."
"Gambling?"
"Yes, gambling. Back in the '50s, rich Americans used to go to Havana to lose their money. Then Vegas started getting hot and Kefauver started grandstanding -- and guess what? We've had 40 years of Fidel Castro. Saigon used to be the Las Vegas of Southeast Asia, but when it fell, Atlantic City started up."
"Of course," I said, wishing I knew what the devil he was talking about.
"Well, there's this casino master called Latinumfinger -- he's started this string of casinos across the universe -- he won't be happy until he owns all the casinos in this universe and every possible universe."
"Every possible universe -- it sounds like a statistician's delight."
"His home base is in the Tri-Kappa Delta sector."
"Tri-kappa delta? It sounds like a fraternity."
“Cute. Ever hear of the Moonphaser?”
“‘Moonphaser’?” Now he had my attention.
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| Computer Operations Dept. | Cmdr. Ian "Krell" Johnsson |
http://home.sprynet.com/~ian/alaric/alaric.htm
"Computer Operations report, Commander Krell reporting...
"I'll never understand the hu-mon need for all these reports, logs and
outlines. Always worried about if this report or that log has been
filed when they should just let us do our actual jobs. How does
Starfleet ever get anything done when they spend so much time talking
about what they have done or will do or want to do? It's just not good
business sense. True, any successful operation, whether it's Starfleet
operations or running a business empire, relies on an effective system
of communication. But there's a point where too much communication gets
in the way of business...
"I mean it's not as if I don't have enough to do already! I've been running myself to death recently what with all the new ship and computer modifications being made. Between installation of the new sensor equipment, upgrading the computer's memory core and operating systems, enhancing the communication system's range and sensitivity, I've barely had time to keep track of my own investments and business affairs. And there's a never ending series of complications that arise with any new equipment installation. Computer resources dropped to a dangerously low level yesterday, thanks to those idiot technicians of the Admiral's. The new holographic emitters they installed for the ship's camouflage system were hogging CPU time because they failed to isolate the holographic systems from the rest of the network. Really! Don't these hu-mons even understand their own technology?! So once again it was up to good old Krell to come save the day. I've got the holographic net running off a dedicated server now, with expanded memory access as well so everything should run smoothly now.
"But I will admit that all these new modifications do have their plus side. The new communications system not only has a much longer range then our previous system but also is capable of picking up a wider bandwidth of frequencies. Which means now I can get more financial reports in a more timely fashion. And that's really helped me in my various business transactions, because in business old news is worse than no news at all.
"And speaking of the communications system, I still have a computer notification waiting for me. It seems that my scanning sub-routines, which are programmed to alert me when anything of possible interest to me are detected, have found something. Probably just another bug for me to fix... In any event I don't have any more time to waste on these reports. I've got work to do. Commander Krell signing out."
Krell leaned back in his chair with a sigh of relief as he instructed the computer, "End of report. File copies with Fleet Captain Heim, Starfleet Operations, and all staff officers." He paused for a moment to massage his lobes, relieving some of the tension from the last few days of frantic work on the Alaric's systems. Then he hunched forward over his keyboard again as he pulled up his scanning sub-routine logs.
"Let's just see what it is that's so important," he mumbled to himself. The computer had identified a new sub-space communications carrier wave, one that hadn't been detectable without the newly modified sensor array. It appeared to be scrambled, but Krell couldn't see why the computer drew it to his attention until he reached the end of the log. His sub-routines are programmed to flag anything related to the Ferengi and the computer had noticed a similarity between the new carrier wave and Ferengi brain wave patterns. Krell's ears perked up in interest as he ran an analysis of the carrier. "Ah ha!" he muttered in triumph. "It's not scrambled at all... it's a neural link of some sort. Almost like the Borg use. But this can't be Borg, they wouldn't pattern it after Ferengi brain wave activity." He tried for a while to access the information contained in the sub-space carrier, but it was no use. The computer's neural interface couldn't handle the unique four-lobe design of the Ferengi brain. Krell snorted in disgust as he slumped back in his chair.
"This is pointless," he snarled. "What I need is a Ferengi neural template. But I don't have time to program a new neural simulation." Krell thought for a moment, then his mouth split in a toothy grin. "Why use a simulation at all," he decided, "when I already have one of the best Ferengi minds around! It's just a matter of creating an appropriate linkage... Now how do I go about creating a link between my brain and the sub-space carrier? Wait a minute, of course! Why didn't I think of it before?"
Krell opened a drawer on his desk and took out a small electronics tool kit. Selecting a pair of long, narrow tweezers he carefully inserted it into his left ear and delicately removed the tiny communictor/universal translator he always wore tucked into his inner ear. Laying it on the desk in front of him Krell began a series of modifications to the device, turning it into a sub-space receiver and tuning it to the new sub-space frequency. Thus modified, the communicator would amplify the signal and feed it directly into his brain, creating in effect a neural link.
"Perfect!" He gloated as he held the completed device up for inspection. "Sometimes I amaze even myself!" Speaking to the communicator as he slipped it back into his ear, Krell said, "I don't know what secrets you have for me, my little friend, but I intend to find out!"
With the modified communicator in place Krell tapped a key on his desk to activate it. Instantly his face went blank, his mouth open in stunned surprise as his mind was flooded with information. Stock quotes, market fluctuations, cargo manifests, tax indexes, profit margin reports, expense logs.... a universe of information. Like being linked to all the stock markets in the galaxy all at once. But there was more than just raw data... much more. Through the sub-space neural link Krell could detect the presence of other minds, Ferengis linked together by a vast sub-space network. Hundreds of minds united together with only one common goal: The assimilation of profit!
"By the Divine Treasury!" Krell whispered in awe. "It's Latinumfinger! He was assimilated! And he's created his own collective... a Collective of Greed!" Krell's mind raced as he tried to take in all the data at his disposal. He realized that Latinumfinger had discovered the ultimate means of efficient business communications. With his Borg-modified collective he and his henchmen can pool all their information together, instantly relaying instructions and directives.
"It's brilliant!" Krell muttered to himself. "Absolutely brilliant! He can control everything, from anywhere. It's the perfect management system... there's no limit to what Latinumfinger can do! Unlimited data resources, instant access to all markets and stock exchanges... all at his fingertips!" Krell's mind frantically raced as he saw the possibilities made possible by such a system.
"He'll be unstoppable!," he realized, not sure if he should be horrified or excited. Although a member of Starfleet, Krell was still a Ferengi first and foremost. Even as he realized that this could well mean the end of business as usual throughout the entire galaxy (not to mention other galaxies!), part of his mind couldn't help scheming for a way to get in on the action.
Plan after plan was formulated and considered, then finally Krell realized what he had to do. It was risky, but as the 62nd Rule of Acquisition stated, "The riskier the road, the greater the profit." Unable to sit by and allow such a golden opportunity to get away, Krell jumped up out of his chair and tapped several inquiries into his computer terminal.
Satisfied with the results, he decided that it was now or never. He made a few entries of his own, then he activated a special program he had left lurking in the computer system for just such an emergency. Not even pausing to pack, Krell rushed down to the hanger bay. His special little hidden program had already prepped a shuttle for launch and used his authorization as XO to over-ride the security clearances. Most of the Alaric's major systems and warp core were off-line at the moment for system upgrades. The remaining systems that posed a threat would be easily neutralized by other programs conveniently stashed away in memory, a perk of having a Ferengi as CompOps Chief! By the time anybody realized what was going on it would be too late for them to do anything about it.
Krell paused in the doorway of the shuttle, thinking about what he was about to do. No doubt Fleet Captain Heim would have a fit over this, but it wouldn't be the first time Krell's Ferengi side had caused friction between them. Then, putting any remaining doubts out of his mind, Krell boarded the shuttle and prepared to take off.
Even as the shuttlecraft rose smoothly off the floor and coasted forward Captain Heim's voice erupted from the comm panel. "Bridge to shuttlecraft! Krell, is that you?" Why is it whenever there's trouble, Krell wondered innocently, he automatically assumes that I'm to blame? "What do you think you're doing?!" the Captain demanded.
"Sorry Captain," Krell replied, "I'd like to hang around and help out here. Really I would. But I've had an offer I can't refuse. It's been fun, but business is business!" Clearing the hanger doors Krell increased speed even as Captain Heim continued to rant and rave, making a series of surprisingly creative threats. No doubt due to my influence, Krell thought smugly.
Krell deactivated the comm system, cutting off Captain Heim in mid-sentence. As soon as he cleared the ship's nacelles Krell laid in a new course and engaged the warp drive, vanishing into the starry sky and leaving a shipload of stunned crew mates behind.
TO BE CONTINUED NEXT ISSUE!
"The Universe Is Not Enough" writing credits: Richard Heim, Ian Johnsson, Joe McCollum, Sheila Hand, Janice Self.
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